Today has been so bad I can barely remember what I did yesterday. Think it was just a day full of chores and junk.
Ten years ago, as I mentioned briefly in one of my first blogs, I hit rock bottom.
Today I came one step closer to reaching that low. I’ve also lost my car.
My oldest son has been borrowing it a lot since I’ve been home because his is constantly breaking down. I should have known better. He’s been in multiple car wrecks over the past three years. He has miraculously escaped injury each time – today included. There were two fire trucks and about four police cars on scene. It was bad. And I’m certain my car is totaled. The worst part is I still have a high balance left on my car loan, so the payout most likely won’t cover it all. I am now jobless AND carless. Two down, two to go.
Thankfully I’m not friendless, yet. Thank you, Jesus. I’ve been amazed by the people who have literally shown up out of nowhere to offer assistance. And for that, I am truly grateful. I had tea this morning with a lovely woman I met at a Meetup group two weeks ago. I didn’t even stay in her Meetup, but we’ve messaged back and forth a couple of times. This afternoon, she connected me to someone who might be able to provide a job lead. I am blessed.
Even so, I am admittedly feeling pretty darn defeated right about now. I’ve been holding my head high and staying positive, but this is just. too. much. WAY TOO MUCH. And I can’t even break down because my son is feeling even more defeated than me, if that’s possible. He has seriously the worst luck ever. The poor kid isn’t even 21 years old and has had to face challenges (many of his own making unfortunately) most people don’t deal with in a lifetime. If he sees me giving up, he will too and I’m really afraid he won’t recover. So I had to power rally this afternoon. It sucked, but I did it. and for that, I am proud of myself.
DAY 10 ACTION ITEMS:
- Don’t give up. EVER!
I’m sorry, but this is about as motivational as I can be today. I’m very, very, very, very down. But I’m still not out. I promise.